You don’t know what its like to love somebody
You don’t know what its like to hold someone in the palm of your hands
And clench your fists so tightly
That it turns your knuckles red
Because god forbid, if you loosen your grip for even an instant
They might just slip out from the rough edges and creases of your palms
You don’t know what its like to love somebody
You don’t know what its like to look at someone’s eyes
And not only see your reflection as they stare back at you
But to feel this massive explosion of so many warm things within your chest
And you can’t even think of the right words to explain it
But you know it feels like the way;
your cheeks heat up after that really good cup of coffee on a cold rainy morning
Or when your stomach is truly and scrumptiously satisfied.
You don’t know what it’s like to love somebody
Before the alcohol sets in
Before you drown out the smell of their skin from your sheets
Before you start scratching at the paint
You don’t know what it’s like to love somebody
To kiss their cheek
And feel relieved
and connected in more ways than one
And in that instant you know, nothing
Not even water has flowed this perfectly before
And it’s nothing like you’ve felt before in your mere years of existence and broken hearts
You know nothing has come close to feeling the way when your lips moved against theirs
It was then that you realized what it’s like to truly feel breathless
And for the briefest moment that your tongues kissed
You knew that this is going to be different.
You don’t know what its like to love somebody like that
You don’t know what its like to feel that way
You don’t know what its like to love somebody
To feel their skin pressed against yours
To smell the faint scent of their cologne on parts of you
Long after they’ve left your side
To stare blankly at walls
Only to realize you spaced out thinking of their nose or their fingers
Or that cute birthmark that they hide from
And you smile;
With the knowledge that no one will have that happiness
as you have at that very moment.
You don’t what its like to love somebody like that
You don’t know how simple things seem to be then
Like how maths is just made of numbers
And history is written by the victors
And biology is just parts of your body.
Even as the rest of your world seems to come crumbling down
You still clench your fists
Tighter than ever
Because when the time comes to run
You have to be able to run and not let go of this new love
That consumes you
Run with your fists clenched shut
Run till your legs get weak and start trembling
Run till you can’t feel them anymore
Don’t let something that makes your heart beat so fast
And your eyes light up like fireworks
Slip away through those creases and rough edges.
Trust me.
You don’t know what it’s like to love somebody
Who loves you back.
You just don’t.
Yours truly,
Painted Shadow
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