I find myself falling in love with things out of my reach, like the sky or you. I find myself holding on to things that are desperately begging to be let go off.  Things that don’t want to be held or touched. Things that love to run away. I’m not used to being in one place for a long time. I’m used to being temporary. I’m used to new places and new faces. I’m used to running away. I gave you my heart; bandaged and glued together, and you had the audacity to give it back with more cracks. I don’t believe in much but I believe in expiration dates. I find myself always looking for them on the back of milk cartons and on relationships. Things aren’t meant to last long. At least that’s what I’ve been shown. Until you drove past my darkest thoughts and stopped to listen.


Yours truly,

Painted Shadow




Tie my hands against the dawn of the new day
and count the strands of brown hair that falls across my face.
Watch my eyes flutter open and memorise that moment.
Kiss all the bruises from my ex lovers

and my past away,
Carve your deepest secrets in to my spine,
I will use them to stand up straight when everything else is falling

I will use my string of words to pick you up

when all your broken bits are thrown out.

Re-read her love letters

Throw away his.
Untie the knots in my stomach
and use it as a noose instead.
We were never made to last
We were built with sand and lost hope in our bones

We are indestructible

We are the thunder growing at the pit of our hungry bellies

We are the bolts of lightning in their center of our  throbbing chests

We are our own rainstorms.


Yours truly,

Painted Shadow


Are you alive?

I worry that you were one of the 61 that were killed.

I worry that maybe you were on that busy street

walking by;

or just standing there, watching the world float by.

I worry that you might have been in the wrong place

at the wrong time

and that maybe, you were one of the 61 that were killed.

or one of the 79 that were killed last month

or one of the 500 killed that were killed this year.

I wish I knew if you were okay

I wish I knew if you escaped

just like you always wanted to

I wish I knew if you got out alive.


Yours truly,

Painted Shadow


Something about you.

I counted his birthmarks against the dawn of a new day;
Pointing fingers at us
And whispering through the curtain
That were thoughtfully closed as we got in that morning
Or was it late night?
I traced his birthmarks with the tip of my index fingers
Slowly and gently
His body rose and fell in a rhythmic dance
My eyes began to study these movements
Memorising it as best as I could.
I drew a map from point A to point B
And then point B to C and back again to A.
Gazing at my new discovery at the break of light
I realised I wanted to be an astronomer
I wanted to study the galaxies between your shoulder blades
And take pictures of the gentle ragged outline of your spine,
Creating craters of lust and muscle.
I kissed each birthmark.
One. Kiss.
Two. Kiss.
Three. Kiss.
He stirred awake and turned around to face me
Eyes still closed, he let out a soft murmur
And fell right back asleep.
I will have to star gaze another night.


Yours truly,
Painted Shadow

Pour Toi.

Seeking Inspiration : 
From the smooth curve of your finger tips along the wall of my spine
From the slight giggle that escaped your parted lips and landed on mine
From the warmth of your beating heart nestling in the edges of my smile
From a single Hello or two, and no Goodbye
From your sun kissed skin and blazing eyes
From You.

Yours truly,

Painted Shadow.

Hungry Eyes

Warning: This blog post contains explicit content of a sexual nature. Minors and People with severe heart conditions are advised not to read further. 

The music kept playing in the background, although I lost track of what they were singing about when I noticed the way your breathing changed. It was half way past dinner or dessert, I don’t remember much of it now. But your breathing got harder and you managed to swallow your food down in a hurry that I’d never seen before. Except you weren’t hungry for the food on your plate. You didn’t take your eyes off me from the time we sat down and with each sip of whiskey that soaked your lips, the hunger in your eyes grew darker.

It wasn’t long after that we decided to have drinks at your place. the elevator ride to the 7th floor was no easy feat. You were quiet and biting down on your jaw as I saw it twitch. The elevator was a sauna of intense fire and raw silence between us.

As I stepped in to your apartment and you closed the door behind you, everything else that followed was a blur that sent my mind in a whirlwind of lust, whiskey and the smell of your cologne.

You turned around and backed me to the wall of your apartment and inhaled my breaths. your face inches away from mine and yet you waited. you kept breathing me in with your lips inches away from mine. I was left paralysed but the scene of it all. I wanted to kiss you. and before another thought could occupy my mind, your lips engulfed mine and your tongue danced hypnotic dances with me and again I was left paralysed. I hadn’t been kissed with such intensity and hunger before. This was a revelation. This was euphoria.

Your hands gripped my right leg and swung it around your hips while your mouth was still planted on mine. You didn’t wait any longer, you could already feel me dripping through my thong. You stuck two fingers in directly and pushed them in me. You continued to move them back and forth, getting faster and deeper each time. You loved that my legs shivered and buckled while you fucked me with your fingers leaving me gasping for air as I sank my teeth on to your neck.

Suffice to say, we didn’t make it to the bedroom the first time.

Legs quivering and unable to stand on one as the other one was still wrapped around your waist, I felt you throb against me. You needed this as much as I and that sent shivers down the small of my back making me more wet with the thought of your throbbing cock pushing deeper and deeper in me.

You knelt down and took off my thong and skirt and started to lick my thighs and all that’s dripped over. You moaned deep cuss words as you tasted me. While your tongue created swirls over my clit, you gazed up at me. Your eyes a different, darker shade of hazel pierced my own as you saw me fall apart under the magic of your tongue. You were going to devour me and I knew it. THIS was euphoria.

Sensing my obvious frustration of not having your cock in me yet, you carried up me as I wrapped my legs around you, with my back still against the same wall.

I can not believe we hadn’t even made it to the hall and I was already being licked till my legs buckled.

I hadn’t noticed but he had removed his white shirt, jeans and boxers that now lay crumpled in a pile along with my clothes next to the door.

I was ready, he knew that. He tasted my eagerness and knowing he needn’t ease in to me,he thrust in to me in a swift hurried motion.

I let out soft moans as I clung on to his perfectly sculptured arms. My arms wrapped around his neck, I sank my teeth in to his shoulders and he pounded further and harder in to me. My body was a bundle of shivers and moans. I was dripping wet around his cock and he groaned and swore out loud at the sensation.

My head was spinning and the room was already humid as our bodies were sweating from the heated sex against the wall of his apartment.

We both climaxed together and he gently lowered  me on to the floor and fell back next to me. Heavy panting and thudding hearts we both lay on the floor gasping for breath while looking at the ceiling.  The apartment was blanketed in darkness. This time, we were both paralysed, unable to move following the aftermath of the tornado that engulfed our naked bodies.

We moved to the bedroom after a while and repeated the process again and again with the same intensity and hunger as the first time.


Yours truly,

Painted Shadow