It’s all these secrets that I shouldn’t tell I’ve got to run away

Where do you run to escape from yourself? Who do you turn to when you’ve trusted noone? and you’ve kept everyone, even your best friend at arms length? And the 4 walls you’ve built around you refuse to come down, only because you’re holding them from the inside. What do you do, when you’re afraid to let anyone in,because you’re afraid of judgement,betrayal, torture, love? Is it a bad thing though? Being hurt and loved,isnt that what we all want? At the end of the day, dont we all want to feel pain? Atleast a bit of it? Pain keeps us strong. Pain, in moderate doses, keeps us strong.It’s not sadist to think that we all WANT to feel pain. Its a fact.  The sooner you admit it, the sooner you’ll learn to accept it. Sometimes, pain sucks and it can drive us over the edge. Sometimes, pain hurts and blinds us beyond reason. But its a need.a want, just like Love. Sometimes, if we’re lucky enough, we experience them both together, right after each other, in no particular order though (yes, it is luck, but dont get me wrong, no pain and only love is GREAT although rare). Pain and Love. Love and Pain. They go hand in hand, like lovers. HA. oh, the irony. 

Runaway, write a song, Find a hobby, Fall in love, but Never bring those walls down by yourself, wait until someone breaks all of them to get to you.

Yours truly,

Painted Shadow.

Ps. Hang in there sunshine. Coz every little thing is going to be all right. 🙂

Rainstorm (random title, I know)

Do you ever get the urge, that feeling to just run away? The whim to just disappear without telling anyone? Not your friends, not your family. And to just leave? To run away from everything you have, just because you’re tired of the same boring thing? And you just want to go somewhere where no one knows you or your past, and they’re eager to meet you because you’re new in town. Have you ever tried to grasp something that seems like it was in front of your face, but when you stretched out your hand and reached out to touch it, you realised you couldn’t because it was miles and miles away. And you feel all hopeless and worn out. Because all you wanted to do was to touch it, and feel something, anything at all. Just to feel something, because feeling something, even pain, is better than feeling nothing at all. A few minutes ago, I wanted to run away. Unfortunately for me, I don’t have tons of locked up cash and a private jet. Because that’s the only thing stopping me from just disappearing right now. I guess it’s the feeling, that everyone you see, everyone you meet, everyone you know and even those that don’t know you but claim to be your best friend, is judging you. I guess I can’t really complain about things that are sort of a packaged deal in high school. Just because someone tells you to stop judging them, it doesn’t mean that they would. They won’t stop, because it happens. It’s part of human nature, but sometimes we hate when people judge us. At least I know I do. I hate that piercing cold hard stare that some people mark on their faces as they look at you. I hate that. But, like I said, I can’t complain about things that are beyond my control. So, I’m learning to deal with it. I’m holding my head high because other than certain few people, I don’t care what anyone else says or even thinks of me. Here’s a little piece of advice my dear readers who probably have no idea what I’m rambling on about or who may think they know, but don’t really, or to those who actually know and are reading this and at this very moment judging me, I know it’s a long shot, but DONT judge me, because frankly, you’re just wasting your time, and you have no idea what it’s like to be me. OH and HERE’s To You for giving me the strength and courage and for giving me the chance to hold my head high! Your judgment makes me strong.