I’m far more skeptical than I thought.
I’m sitting here in an empty room
Thinking of reasons why you and I will not work;
Thinking of reasons why I shouldn’t feel this way about you;
Thinking of any reason to stop this.
If it had been any other person
Who didn’t show half the interest you did,
I would have convinced myself to the moon and back
That he was the ideal person for me.
Even if he promised to rip my beating heart out and toss it away for the birds,
Even if he vowed to grip it so tightly until the last thud
Even if he did everything in his power to break my bones
I would have convinced myself that he loved me.
But with you,
My darling, with you,
I seem to be looking for reasons that don’t exist.
I seem to be looking for reasons to tell you no
To push you away
To not be yours.
I am not convinced.
I am ruined.
I am damned.