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Zoe.

On May 21st, our little fur baby Zoe passed away in the wee hours of the morning. I wont forget that morning she took a huge part of our lives with her. She was the still the prettiest dog I had ever seen even as she lay there eternally asleep.

It’s hard to put dIMG_20130704_163606own in words just how much she meant to us and the impact she’s had on our lives. 10 amazing years with her and we’ve been through a lot with her.  From trips to the beach and mountain hikes to travelling across countries, eating watermelon and sharing spaghetti; she always got the best. Though over the past two years, the evening walks reduced and her diet changed in order to suit her weight and the heat which she wasnt a fan of, she was always the favourite because she was our little baby. We watched her grow from a naughty little puppy who would chew up parts of the bed frame, our shoes and sometimes even our homework, to a beautiful, occasionally still naughty lovely soul. Everyone who met her fell instantly in love with her.

Her friendly cheerful personality, her brown beady eyes, how she understood when we spoke about her and she’d wag her tail, her love for black dogs. How she’d hide and pretend to be sleeping when we call her for a bath but the moment you take her leash and call her to go for a walk, she’d be hyper and excited. And when we finally did manage to give her a bath and use about 3 towels to dry her, she had to have one towel laid out on the floor for her to sit her fluffy bottom on.

Over the years she got calmer, she was able to walk without a leash by our side unless she saw a cat. She became more obedient. Just what the vet said she’d be. During our first few hurried visits on numerous occasions after she’d eaten things she wasn’t supposed to, the Vet advised us saying ” If you tolerate her for 3 years, you’ll be blessed with the best dog in the years after that” and that’s exactly what we were. Blessed.

Reading all the comments about Zoe from Facebook, I realized that we weren’t tIMG_20120429_181853he only ones who loved her. And somehow that eased my pain of losing her. She wasn’t just a dog. She was a big part of us and a part of almost everyone who met her. And that was the brilliant and most wonderful thing to know, that people from all over the world who we met in the past 10 years grieved for her loss from this world.  Relatives, Friends from Dubai and Srilanka, family friends from Bahrain, the garderner and plumber, the tuk tuk drivers, people who have just seen pictures or videos of her were all deeply saddened by her death. That’s when I realised just how much she was loved. And she would have been the luckiest dog alive and we, the luckiest family to have this beautiful soul become a part of us.

Yeah, we did regret not staying up by her side after her last trip to the vet, or how we didn’t take her on enough lovely walks or how we sometimes forgot to brush her golden fur or didn’t buy her enough tennis balls and soft toys to play with. But she always got the bigger bone to chew on or the bigger share of a fruit. She always got the prettiest and biggest of everything. This Christmas, we’ll be buying two toys instead of three. And that’s going to be hard.

When my mom opens the door, she’s not going to have Zoe to take her handbag in and that’s going to be hard.

When we buy her favourite bananas and she’s not there to drool over It, it’s going to be hard.

When its someone birthday and we start singing and she’s not there to join us by barking, it’s going to be hard.

When we take only two dogs instead of three to the beach or a walk, it’s going to be hard.

When we have to get used to feeding only two dogs while her empty bowl sits on a side untouched for days, its going to be hard.

Its been a week and a half since our golden girl passed away and it still hasn’t gotten easier. I guess, no one ever forgets their pet. they just somehow manage to get through the day without them. and that’s the hardest part. Sometimes, a part of me still waits for her to climb up the stairs behind Holly and Dobby. Sometimes, my hand still reaches and takes 3 biscuits from the biscuit jar. Her favourite biscuits. And it pains me every time to drop the last biscuit back. It pains me that I’ll never see her sit down before we could ask her to for a biscuit or a fruit. It pains me that we won’t have to watch what we say cause we know she understands, regarding food or walks or bath times, or going out to our aunts place.

Her leash still hangs on the hook after her last visit to the Vet. No one’s taken it off. No one’s touched it. I wonder if we ever will.

10 years ago she came in to our family’s life and most days, she is what held us together. She is what kept us happy and smiling. And these words will never be enough to honour her memory. She was much more than these words could ever offer.

She was an angel sent down to love us.

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Your paw prints will forever be etched in to our hearts Puppy.

Love always,

Us.

 

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Author:

I stare at walls hoping that something would guide me to another dimension where everything makes sense. I take life as it comes. I reside in which is now known to be the fastest growing city in the Middle East, Dubai. Surrounded by fake greenery and dusty air, I long for rain. I long for rain to drench my very being, untill i feel nothing but clean and revived. I dream of happy things and i know for certain that Peter pan and pixies and fairies and Santa exists. I know. Because theres no point in not believing. Im a child. I am a grain of sand. I am a speckle of dust in this polluted world. I am a spirit roaming the end of the earth, trying to find that wall. (Read the page Painted shadow for details)

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