Openly Closed.

It’s funny how I’ve learnt that I can be right and at the same time be so wrong. It’s funny how you made it clear to me that I was scared. That I was stubborn yet willing to cooperate. That I wished someone would change for me, yet I wasn’t willing to do the same. That my generalization towards love and boys always made me feel like a hypocrite. I hated generalizing.  That I wanted to let you in and at the same time keep you at arm’s length. That I wanted to feel your smile on my lips and at  the same time push you away. It’s funny how you told me I can never be like anyone else. Because no-one was as different as me. I don’t believe you.

I believe in other things. Like how easily it can be to believe someone and then get tossed in to deep-sea just as you let your guard down. I believe it’s easier to believe an insult than a compliment. I’m not sure why though, I think it has something to do about insecurity and believing that everyone has an ulterior motive.

All the words I wanted to say, wouldn’t leave my lips. I just need you to read me even when my cover keeps closing on your fingers. and I want to have that one moment where you tell  me all the smallest details about me that I didn’t know you noticed.

I’m stubborn. I know. I tend to be hypocritical. I know. I’m indecisive. I know. I let you in for 5 minutes, and push you back out for an hour. I know that too.  I want the knight in shining armour and the movie like scenes. But i don’t want to be rescued. I don’t want to be the damsel in distress, waiting for a man I know might never show up. Yet I so strongly want to believe in fairy tales and happily ever-afters.

I’m just like you. Except different somehow.

Yours truly,

Painted Shadow

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3 thoughts on “Openly Closed.

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