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Is it wrong to wish you were dead? Is it wrong to wish that you have cancer? or some other terminal illness. There are probably millions of people, millions of families that wish they didnt have cancer, or someone they loved didnt have any terminal illness. yet, i wish for it. Is it wrong? Can i be called sadist, if i wish bad things upon myself? I dont want you dead, because i dont think that will solve anything. It’l probably burden everyone else you know. You’ll be more of a problem when you’re dead than when you are alive. No, i dont want you dead. I want me dead. I know it doesnt solve anything.But, i think, as of now, getting a terminal illness will make it go away. make everything better. Who am i kidding anyway? I know it wont happen. So i’ll just live with it for a few more years. and Hope it passes and fades away. 🙂 I won’t pain and hurt anymore. Not for what you’ve done. I wont. i refuse to. And i’ll never shed a single tear for you. Ever again. I hope.One can only hope.

Yours truly,

Painted shadow.

P.s. Dear readers, this is merely imagination working on a weak mind. 🙂


I stare at walls hoping that something would guide me to another dimension where everything makes sense. I take life as it comes. I reside in which is now known to be the fastest growing city in the Middle East, Dubai. Surrounded by fake greenery and dusty air, I long for rain. I long for rain to drench my very being, untill i feel nothing but clean and revived. I dream of happy things and i know for certain that Peter pan and pixies and fairies and Santa exists. I know. Because theres no point in not believing. Im a child. I am a grain of sand. I am a speckle of dust in this polluted world. I am a spirit roaming the end of the earth, trying to find that wall. (Read the page Painted shadow for details)

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